Today, I woke up with my back hurting and my legs all swelled up. Today is Wednesday and that is my weight day, so I stepped up on the scales. The results were not pretty. And so the day began to go downhill. I began feeling discouraged and upset. I have noticed that the last few weeks my mood has not been the best. I think a lot of it has to do with the heat, but also just feeling a little overwhelmed by life. Staying in that overwhelmed feeling does not do much good for me. I end up getting very little accomplished, and I turn to food.
So today I decided to focus my energy on finding stories of people that have found success in getting healthier and reducing stress. One of the first examples I found was a lady that had gotten healthier and reduced stress through daily meditation. She shares in her story about how her day had become filled with so many projects and tasks that she lost touch with the present. I have included the link below.
http://www.thatsfit.com/2011/05/12/meditation-helped-alyson-lose-the-80-pounds-she-gained-from-a-st/
Whether or not I start doing what would be considered mediation, I do like the idea of starting my morning with some relaxation and quite time. I do my best when I am centered and at peace with the day and myself. There is one particular statement in the article that has stuck with me. She wrote, “When we're less reactive, we don't eat mindlessly. We have that tiny gap in our experience, right before our next breath, to remind us that we can make better decisions in the moment (even the most stressful ones).” I found that to be a very powerful and true statement. I loved the fact that this article did not share a certain diet or exercise program. Instead it focused on ways she reduced stress and centered herself.
The second thing I read that really helped me regain focus and peace was on Facebook today. I follow Geneen Roth who writes a lot of great books about establishing a healthy relationship with food. Her post today focused on discipline. I once had a therapist tell me that I set rules for myself only to rebel against them. Needless to say she was right and I struggle a lot with disciple. In Geneen’s post today she talked about how we need to change the way we view discipline. Instead of looking at as a bad thing and way to control ourselves, we need to look at a way of loving ourselves. I am trying to move towards that way of thinking in regards to the changes that I am making. I am making these changes because I love myself.
Today I was sitting on the bed, and Josh asked me “what is wrong, you look so sad?” I replied, “I’m not sad, but just mentally tired.” Sometimes I feel like every day I am constantly fighting this internal battle regarding my weight, in regards to finances, in regards to so many things. So many days I feel like just giving up, but what I know is that I am always going to want what I want again. So I can either learn to work through days like this when I think I don’t want to fight anymore, or I can fall back into the negative thoughts and destructive behaviors. For today I choose to stay in the race.
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