Hello, My name is Leslie and I Love Food!

I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't love food.  I love the way I feel after I eat a really good meal.  I enjoy preparing food and having people over. I like having so much food that everybody can take a plate of food home for the next day.  Along with my life long love for food, I have had a life long struggle with my weight.

This past year was a change for me in the since that I was able to loose 30 pounds and keep it off the entire year.  Most years it has been a process of dieting, losing 100 pounds and gaining it back. Of course 30 lbs was not my goal. I would have loved to lose more, but the point is that I am not going up and what I am losing I am keeping off. 

I think I have finally realized that I am never going to be one of those people that is going to write down my food every day, calorie count, count points, or exercise every day. I totally admire and respect those people, but it is just not for me. So what does that mean for me? Does that mean I just let myself eat whatever, forget about being healthy and just accept that I am likely to have a premature death. That is just not the route I want to go.

I have instead decided on a gentler approach. A plan that will work for me.  I want to take this 30 pounds that I have lost and build on it and more importantly make changes that will allow me to keep the weight that I lose off. 

The funny thing is that I have found that over the past few weeks I have become more excited than ever about cooking, having people over, and enjoying entertaining. I think I have felt like I should enjoy cooking or get excited about food because of my weight. When I was a kid I wanted to be a chef. I don't know that at 33 I am ready to break into that field, but I defiently want to try new things,experiment, and make meals that are both wonderful and healthy.

It is nice to see things from a different perspective, and look at my goal to become healthier as an adventure instead of a battle to stay out of the fridge. Sorry the fridge is going to win every time. I think at some point in our life we have to sit and look at where we are, where we want to go, and more importantly what are we WILLING to do to get there. I can read every diet book, self help book, and motivational story, but if I am not willing and excited about doing something I will never do it. It doesn't mean I won't ever do things that I would not rather do, but I atleast most days of the week need to enjoy it.

I am truly excited to see what the next 12 months bring, and I am equally excited to see what the spaquetti I have cooking in the crock pot tastes like :)

Hello World, It's me Leslie!

This year like most years has been a big learning experience for me.  I have found myself questioning so much about myself and the relationships that I have.  As I get older, I find myself wanting so badly to just be myself. I don't want to hide any part of myself.  I want to be genuine.

I wonder, however, if that is really what the rest of the world wants.  Hiding my emotions was never something I was good at. If I'm sad, I cry! If I'm angry I either shut down and get quite so I can process my emotions, I cry, or I just get mad.  I stop random people to tell them that I like their outfits, I go back and apologize over the silliest things, and when a relationship that i really wanted to work out or be different doesn't work out I grieve.  That is just me.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I could remember, and with that my weight has gone up, down, and all around.  I have road rage at times, and then feel guilty for saying mean things. I  know even as I write this that some people will read it, roll their eyes and think why did she write this.  My response: This is who I am.

I spend less than 10 min on my hair every morning, I own two pairs of shoes, and I hate clothes shopping.  I love to get massages.  I cry when I watch Hallmark movies, and it hurts my feelings when people stare at me in the supermarket because of my weight. I wish desperately that people could see beyond my outside and just get to know me.

The shootings on Friday got me thinking about the world we live in. People want to blame guns, but the reality is the boy that shot his mother and then all of those kids was angry, hurting, and probably feeling very much alone. I don't know anything about his family, but I do know a lot about our society. Our society uses terms like "Be Yourself", and "Just Do It", but then we are quick to judge others, to point out others flaws and differences, and quick to walk away when someone needs a helping hand.

I wonder if each of us took some time to open up our minds and hearts to other possibilities, other ways of living, other ideas, and other perspectives how great a world we might live in.  

Slow but steady!

Sometimes it's hard not to get a little jealous of other people's success. I had one of those moments today when somebody I knew got their break, and they took it:) the jealousy comes not from not wanting that person to succeed, but more fear of will I get my break or opportunity.

This year has taught me a lot. In the course of 12 months, I quit my job, left behind my profession as a counselor, and learned the difficulties that come from trying to run a business. I learned a lot about what I didn't want, and a little bit about what I do want.

More than anything I have learned about the power of patience, being open, and just staying in the race. I have stepped back, and started watching successful people.  I have started to examine their paths and similarities. The biggest thing that I have noticed is that most of them have put in their time. They worked their way up, and they were always ready for opportunities. 

My goals may be different than a lot. What I really want more than anything is a career that I can have based at home, and something allows me to have independence.  I realize that what I want is very possible, but I also realize that it is not just going to show up at my door.  I started this blog this week because more than anything I want to share my journey with others. I want to learn from other people about their experiences and how they have created the life they wanted.

My goal this week in regards to my career is to simply be open for opportunities and possibilities.  I am excited to see what I discover.

Finding my way

    I have always been the disorganized type.  I have the best of intentions. I can map out an organization plan that people would die for, but implementing the plan is another deal. I am horrible at doing things on a consistent basis. In all honesty, I think that is the key to a lot of the areas in my life that I am trying to change. I am horrible about doing things on a day to day basis. 

  One of the statements I would make to parents about setting rules was that “They needed to set rules that they could enforce even on their worst day.”  I think this is also true for habits, and goals that you set for yourself. The changes we make need to be something we can do even on our worst days.  They need to be realistic.

  I think a big part of my struggle is that I constantly compare myself to others, and the reality is that I am never going to be like everybody else. Nor do I really want to be, but I do want to be more organized, and I do want our home and car to be cleaner.  I just have to a find a way to do it all on mine and my husband’s terms instead of everybody else’s. 

  So my goal in regards to organization this week is to simply start doing something one task a day that I would normally not do, and I mean it can be pretty simple. Like throwing away trash, loading the dishwasher, or going through the mail.  I want to do one task a day, and at the end of the week I want to see how much it makes a difference. I think I will be surprised. 

Starting a blog!

I have tried multiple times in the past two years to start a blog. I love the idea of a blog, and think it would be a great way to share my life, adventures, and experiences with the world.  I have not, however, been very good at being consistent with blogging.  I haven’t really known what to write about.  But yesterday I got an idea for a way to create a blog that would also be a good hobby for myself, and a way for me to work on my long term goals as well.  So I decided I would utilize my blog to share what articles, resources, and ideas that I find on the following topics; health, spirituality, career, finances, organization, entertainment/adventures, and other experiences.  

 I am very excited. I am going to keep it short and sweet today.  Let the adventures and blogging begin…..This week I plan on writing about saving money this holiday season, and starting my New Year's Resolutions early:)