Hello, My name is Leslie and I Love Food!

I cannot remember a time in my life when I didn't love food.  I love the way I feel after I eat a really good meal.  I enjoy preparing food and having people over. I like having so much food that everybody can take a plate of food home for the next day.  Along with my life long love for food, I have had a life long struggle with my weight.

This past year was a change for me in the since that I was able to loose 30 pounds and keep it off the entire year.  Most years it has been a process of dieting, losing 100 pounds and gaining it back. Of course 30 lbs was not my goal. I would have loved to lose more, but the point is that I am not going up and what I am losing I am keeping off. 

I think I have finally realized that I am never going to be one of those people that is going to write down my food every day, calorie count, count points, or exercise every day. I totally admire and respect those people, but it is just not for me. So what does that mean for me? Does that mean I just let myself eat whatever, forget about being healthy and just accept that I am likely to have a premature death. That is just not the route I want to go.

I have instead decided on a gentler approach. A plan that will work for me.  I want to take this 30 pounds that I have lost and build on it and more importantly make changes that will allow me to keep the weight that I lose off. 

The funny thing is that I have found that over the past few weeks I have become more excited than ever about cooking, having people over, and enjoying entertaining. I think I have felt like I should enjoy cooking or get excited about food because of my weight. When I was a kid I wanted to be a chef. I don't know that at 33 I am ready to break into that field, but I defiently want to try new things,experiment, and make meals that are both wonderful and healthy.

It is nice to see things from a different perspective, and look at my goal to become healthier as an adventure instead of a battle to stay out of the fridge. Sorry the fridge is going to win every time. I think at some point in our life we have to sit and look at where we are, where we want to go, and more importantly what are we WILLING to do to get there. I can read every diet book, self help book, and motivational story, but if I am not willing and excited about doing something I will never do it. It doesn't mean I won't ever do things that I would not rather do, but I atleast most days of the week need to enjoy it.

I am truly excited to see what the next 12 months bring, and I am equally excited to see what the spaquetti I have cooking in the crock pot tastes like :)

Hello World, It's me Leslie!

This year like most years has been a big learning experience for me.  I have found myself questioning so much about myself and the relationships that I have.  As I get older, I find myself wanting so badly to just be myself. I don't want to hide any part of myself.  I want to be genuine.

I wonder, however, if that is really what the rest of the world wants.  Hiding my emotions was never something I was good at. If I'm sad, I cry! If I'm angry I either shut down and get quite so I can process my emotions, I cry, or I just get mad.  I stop random people to tell them that I like their outfits, I go back and apologize over the silliest things, and when a relationship that i really wanted to work out or be different doesn't work out I grieve.  That is just me.

I have struggled with depression and anxiety since I could remember, and with that my weight has gone up, down, and all around.  I have road rage at times, and then feel guilty for saying mean things. I  know even as I write this that some people will read it, roll their eyes and think why did she write this.  My response: This is who I am.

I spend less than 10 min on my hair every morning, I own two pairs of shoes, and I hate clothes shopping.  I love to get massages.  I cry when I watch Hallmark movies, and it hurts my feelings when people stare at me in the supermarket because of my weight. I wish desperately that people could see beyond my outside and just get to know me.

The shootings on Friday got me thinking about the world we live in. People want to blame guns, but the reality is the boy that shot his mother and then all of those kids was angry, hurting, and probably feeling very much alone. I don't know anything about his family, but I do know a lot about our society. Our society uses terms like "Be Yourself", and "Just Do It", but then we are quick to judge others, to point out others flaws and differences, and quick to walk away when someone needs a helping hand.

I wonder if each of us took some time to open up our minds and hearts to other possibilities, other ways of living, other ideas, and other perspectives how great a world we might live in.