I once had a doctor tell me that it would be good if I lost 100 pounds, but that was unlikely to happen so we will do this instead. Of course I am paraphrasing, but that was the basis of what he was saying. I was not too happy about that comment. I don't think I went back to that doctor after that. This morning I was reading a friend's response to my blog post about whether or not obesity was a disease, and in her response she was talking about her dealings with the medical profession, and how it was hard for her to find a doctor that wouldn't just focus in on her weight instead of taking the time to understand her history, contributing factors, and what happened first. Her comments got me thinking about my dealings with the medical field.
Here is my truth. I am very realistic about my weight and the realities of what problems my weight could cause. I know that it could lead to an early death, and that as I get older I am likely to have more problems. The slightest twinge in my chest makes me imagine the worst. So it is not like I am going around every day with my head in the sand. I remember someone from a medically supervised weight loss program telling me that if I didn't lose weight I was going to die, and they asked me is that not enough to motivate me. It scared me, but it didn't make me all the sudden get it together and drop 100 pounds. In fact, I believe shortly after that and the same person telling me after I lose the weight I could only have cheese dip on my birthday (seriously...?) Here is a tip to all the medical people out there. Don't try to motivate a fat person by telling them they have to give up all their favorite foods. I left the program. Believe me when I say I am as puzzled as the next person as to why all of the possible medical complications are not enough to make me never want to overindulge again, but it has not been the case.
When I was in college, I remember reading that a lot of overweight indviduals don't finish college because of feeling ashamed and not being able to get around. I remember it going on to talk about how a lot of obese indivdiuals would delay seeking medical attention due to not wanting to be embarrased, talked about, or have a bad experience. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that. I would go to the doctor and do what I needed to do to take care of myself at the weight I am at.
Several years ago I had a friend recommend to me a gynocologist. I hate, hate, hate going to the gynocologist. I especially hate it because of my weight. I am so embarrased to go, but I went to this doctor and I have to say I absolutely love her. I love her because she has larger gowns that make me feel comfortable. I love her because I have never once felt ashamed or uncomfortable about my weight in her office, but most importantly I love her because I feel i can talk to her about anything. We have had open discussions about my weight and pregnancy. She is very realistic about it, and very positive. She has told me the realities of risks associated if I got pregnant at my size now, and what we would do to help with the risks. She has also gave me a realistic weight to shoot for, but more than anything she encouraged me to just keep pushing. She gave me hope.
I wish I could find that with a primary care doctor. There are times I think I have, but I always end up feeling like they don't think I should have an opinion on my own health. Again I want to say that fat does not equal stupid. Don't assume I don't know what the risks are with being at my size. Don't assume I don't research and know about my own body. This doesn't mean I think I'm an expert. If I come to you for help with a cold, please treat the cold. Ever visit doesn't have to end in a discussion about my size.
I did some research this morning on size-friendly medical professions. I haven't yet found a listing in Arkansas. Maybe that is something I can work on in the future, or it maybe it is out there and I didn't find it. All I can say is what I would like from a doctor. I just want someone that I feel respects me as a person. It doesn't have to mean they fall under a category called size friendly. I want someone that understands that yes I would like to get healthier, but in the meantime I am at this weight now. Yes some of my issues maybe impacted by my weight or even caused by my weight, but can you please give my ideas of what I can do to take care of myself today? Can u please do something other than give me a pamphlet about 1200 calorie eating plans? Finally if I come in to your office having maintained the weight I had lost the last time, can you please not tell me I should have lost more. Oh and if you are feeling especially kind, can you please put some chairs in your waiting room that don't have the hard side arms? I promise they won't make me forget that I am fat, and increase my chances of staying obese. Can I get an Amen please?
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