The need to know

It has been a little bit since my last post.  I struggle with the idea that I shouldn't really blog and share my life until after I reach my goals.  But isn't that the very thought that keeps so many of us from ever accomplishing what we want.  It is that idea in our heads that says we have to be perfect, we have to achieve 100% or it doesn't matter, and all of the other thoughts that fall into that all or nothing thinking. 

I worry about my grammar, the way I say things, and so many other things about what people will think or will not think about me.  But as I am getting closer to 35, I realize that life is not standing still.  10 years from now will I look back and think about all of the things that I could have tried, could have said, and could have done or will I be able to be proud of everything including the not so perfect moments.

I really do enjoy sharing my story through this blog, and so I have recommited myself to atleast blogging twice a week.  Since my last post I am continuing to work on my goals.  I have been losing weight, and am very proud to say I have signed up for my first 5k walk.  Josh and I working with a loan officer about getting a house and we are looking at buying in October.  We are also working on ideas for our business, and making plans for to be able to have our dream of starting a family and being able to both stay at home with our kids and run an at home business.

This week despite all of my successes, has been mentally challenging.  I look at all of the things we want to get accomplished and I start to freak out.  I wonder if we will succeed and will I be able to reach my goals.  But I guess the feeling that is stronger than the fear, is the feeling that I need to know.  I need to know what would happen if I gave my all, if I pushed myself to walk a 5k, if I attempted to buy a house, and if I pushed myself to take some chances regarding a business. 

So here is to the feeling of needing to know what my life could be like....while I am enjoying the life I love with my husband, friends, and family....It really is a great place to be.  And I am glad that I am getting to share my life with others. 


To be continued......